Alec Baker, Psy.D.

Unhealthy Competition in the Marriage

Unhealthy Competition in the Marriage

Competition in a marriage can exist in many ways, including competing to see who can be a better parent, who can get more of the kids’ affection, or who makes more money. Trying to out-shine your spouse to put them to shame is both unhealthy, and detrimental to the marriage. It’s important to let your spouse feel important and accomplished too. “Keeping Score” is also a problem. Inevitably, one partner will lose this imaginary contest. It’s also simply too easy to focus on one’s own achievements, while only looking at the shortcomings of their significant other. It’s important to identify, and then nullify, marital competition. 

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